The Home Straight...

Here we go then - only around 36 hours until the Polling Stations throw open their doors to a grateful public desperate to get this silliness out of the way. And silliness it is, stoked in no small part by the machinations of Mr Murdoch. He tells you what news you want to know...

Just before this electoral debacle kicked off I was listening to a very frank and insightful interview with former Sun editor David Yelland on Five Live Breakfast (here's a slightly later piece from The Guardian). In a moment of complete clarity he declared that Murdoch WILL NOT LET Cameron lose this election. That pretty much did it for me right there and then, in bed, with a cup of tea. How dare a non-UK citizen who pays so little tax in this country it wouldn't keep MPs in moats try to manipulate me! How very dare he!! For any Tories out there much of the reason you're not absolutely racing ahead on the back of all the ammo you've been handed in GE2010 is because of THAT man. Brits don't like being told what to do by anyone, let alone Aussies (or is he an American? In the US you can only own media outlets of you're a citizen - that way they can at least get some cash dollars out of you...)

And we thought Ashcroft was bad...there's loads of 'em...and they all want to use their (untaxed) money to tell us what to do. Why? for political influence obviously. It's not out of the goodness of their hearts. They don't 'do' hearts.

Grrr...

Anyway, local Tory canvasser called at my door on Friday night. Funnily enough when I explained that Antony Little couldn't rely on my vote partly because of the Great TwitBlock Debacle of April 2010 he knew exactly what I was talking about. Thinking back actually I swear it was a Little Younger on my doorstep. That's nice - family values in action. I think we agreed to disagree but as he stood there defending the fact that Flash Gordon had made the bigot comment ("haven't we all said something like that about someone when they can't hear us?" - Tory canvasser's words) he may have taken the discussion differently and just not told me about it.

Still, I bet the Little Tweet that evening told the world how supportive of the Tories EVERYONE was on the canvassing round on Friday night. It's just a guess, you see I don't know. I'm blocked.

So, unsurprisingly still no reply from the BNP.

More surprisingly though there's been no reply from the Green Party which I do find odd. Here's what I wanted to know from them "I have read through your manifesto for the upcoming General Election and would appreciate some clarification on a couple of issues.
Could you tell me what the Green Party plans would involve for Norwich International Airport and also for the proposed dualling of the A11? Both of these vital communication links are of the utmost import to me both professionally and personally and I would very much appreciate some detail on your policies regarding them.
Many thanks for your time..."

Maybe it's the fact that simply putting your plastic bottles in a special bin isn't good enough for the Greens. No, it goes far deeper than that. Far deeper. *Breaks into song* Think of a life without foreign holidays, think of a life without your little car... They've continually opposed any development of Norwich Airport whilst on the council and according to the manifesto want to put air travel out of the reach of anyone but the super-rich (unless it's them and it's paid for by the public purse - see Caroline Lucas - she flies everywhere!) by way of taxes. Also in the manifesto is the end of government spending on roads. Alas, all that is green is not gold and shiny. Some of it is straight out of fairy land - it can stay there as far as I'm concerned. I'm in the real world. And to all the students who are apparently queuing up to vote Green could you please all hang around for the next five years to see how you like no airport and no road travel from Norwich? Lord knows we're cut off enough as it is!

Meanwhile, here in the real world there's something else I get a bit miffed at. This whole 'Broken Britain' thing. My Britain isn't broken, it's great. Telling people it's broken is scaremongering of the highest order. I still, every day, see things to feel proud of about my country - not in a jingoistic, numpty fashion but in reality as part of a country that is an important part of a continent that is an important part of a whole beautiful world.

My country isn't broken and I'm frankly insulted that anyone thinks it is. Give people some meaning in life and watch them grow - tell them they live in a broken land and watch it descend into chaos.

That's how Big Society really works, Dave - with society. Not by Tory councils withdrawing funding from voluntary groups doing Meals On Wheels rounds.

And the Lib Dems haven't let me down. Once again they've managed the very nastiest local campaign - I particularly loved the recent leaflet showing Simon Wright gazing watery-eyed at the beatific image of Cleggy. You may try to look like an angel but I know you're not! Does anyone know what Simon Wright actually DOES? I know he lives in Norwich with his wife and that he want's to be a full-time MP but what does he DO now? The leaflets never explain for some reason.

Geez some of these people make me mad!

Can't be bothered to get wound up by the BNP (ignorants); UKIP (equally although richer ignorants) or the WRP (get a job) when there's too much seriousness to be wound by!

THE END (for today - tomorrow I'm going to tell the world, well you actually, how I've voted since I was 18 so you can judge for yourself whether I'm even worth the read!)